So I have to admit that I am ashamed at how long it has taken me to write my SECOND blog post here... pretty pathetic.... But I have a confession--- After my last post about letting go of your plans, well, lets just say - be careful what you blog about!! About two weeks after my post, God tested my faith by completely dismantling my own "well thought-out" plans.... It was both humorous and painful at the same time. Let's just say that after processing these events over the past 2 months or so, I have been taught on a whole other level what it means to "practice what you preach" -- and it is truly a beautiful lesson...
I began that blog in a place where I had let go of one set of plans and in my own mind had received God's plan (insert pat on the back here as I wrote that blog). And THEN God showed me that I had only let go of one set of my own plans to insert a NEW set of my own plans --- in reality neither was truly built on God or any real amount of discernment or surrender. They just "made sense" and fit together in my little mind.
See I am a classic "planner" --- not that there is anything truly wrong with that. It all depends on how you create the plan. Is it founded on God through prayer, or did you merely use your own reason and worldly logic in order to make yourself feel better about the future, and then present it to God to get his stamp of approval....
As I reflect on all this, I think what I am learning, at least about myself, is that my obsessive need to plan out the steps of the future are rooted in fear-- my unwillingness to totally depend on the providence of God. In a few words: I really struggle with trusting him--- take it even deeper.... I question his unconditional love for me... and so I worry, and feel the compulsive need to plan. See, I know that I make LOTS of mistakes, and if God's love is conditional, then my mistakes may result in God's punishment, so I erroneously believe that I have to take matters into my own hands... (I will have to come to this issue in a future post)
Then comes Matthew 6:24-34 (today's Gospel) and you enter into the Gospel passage that I feel was written especially for me. It is seriously my FAVORITE passage in the Gospels. (The page has literally fallen out of my Bible I have turned to it so much!) It is all about depending on God and His providence...
"If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?" (v 30)
So I have to ask myself, and I ask you in turn, in case you also struggle with this, why do I doubt? I surely have no reason to! I mean I HAVE to be worth more than GRASS!!!! =) In fact in every circumstance where I have been unable to see the outcome, where I felt the most "out of control," God has provided way above and beyond my expectations....
And so of course, in order to continue hammering home that lesson, God brought me yet again to that cross roads of "I have no plan now...." He wanted to remind me (all of us) that he is the ultimate planner and that I can feel safe in his arms, not knowing what the next step is, because He will surely show me that step when the time is right. So I can RELAX in the present.... "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil." (v 34) And what I can pretty much guarantee, when we truly surrender and rest in the peace of total trust in God, the results that follow when he finally does reveal our next step, far exceed that results that we had been planning for ourselves...
Seriously, it doesnt get any better than that... Why not trust our lives the with ONE who created the deepest desires of our hearts?... The one who TRULY knows how to satisfy and quench our seemingly unquenchable thirst for peace.
So I will conclude this post with the prophet Isaiah from the first reading today at Mass. When we are in the midst of anxiety and worry... feeling forsaken by God, as we watch our plans melt away, may we hear the voice of God say to us, "Can a mother forget her infant, be without tenderness for the child of her womb? Even should she forget, I will never forget you." (Is 49:14-15)
So do not worry and rest in the peaceful arms of your Heavenly Father....
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Like Mary or Eve: To rebel or receive?
Surrender and receptivity. These are the themes on my heart as I create this blog. I pray that those of you who so kindly take the time to read what I write from time to time, may find some words of inspiration and comfort as you navigate (with me) through the joys and trials of this ever-changing life.
So I was inspired to start this blog, as I reflected on today's gospel from Luke chapter 1. Here we see the power that total surrender and receptivity have to CHANGE THE WORLD. Yes YOU are called to be a world changer through your own journey of surrender and receptivity, and there is so much that we can learn from the example of our Blessed Mother. In the gospel today, the angel Gabriel visits sweet, young Mary, with the pronouncement that she is going to bear the Son of God. Imagine yourself in her shoes for a moment... living your life, and then - boom - a messenger of God comes to visit you and brings you the HUGE life-changing news about becoming mother to the Son of God.... How would you respond? What would go through your mind? Stop and consider it deeply for a moment... I think we often too quickly breeze over this powerful story because it's so familiar to us, but there is MUCH to learn from the example of Mary here. She, being fully human like us, must have had a million questions and uncertainties running through her mind... "Is this for real? What will people think? What will JOSEPH think? What about her reputation? What about HER PLANS?!"
I don't think we can ever fully wrap our mind around what it would be like to have an angel visit us with word that we are called to bear the Son of the Most High God, but I do think we can relate to this on a smaller scale and try to receive inspiration from the example of Mary.
How often have we been visited by God's "messenger" through an unexpected change in our plans? When was the last time you were going along in your life, feeling good, feeling confident, following "God's will" and then suddenly something comes along that TOTALLY throws you for a loop? Or maybe it's just the the day-to-day challenges we might face, where we have our day "all mapped out". We are going to be "so productive" today, and suddenly we hit some CRAZY traffic, or our child suddenly gets sick, or our car suddenly breaks down.... How do we react in these moments? Do we rebel or receive? Do we trust in God's plan our our plan? Do we rest in the TRUTH of God's love and care for us? Do we TRULY believe that "all things work for good" (Rm 8:28).
I submit that for women one of the BIGGEST challenges we face, and honestly the challenge that has been ours from "the beginning" with our mother Eve, has been the challenge of being receptive to God's will. Like Eve, we long to GRASP for the "beautiful apples" of our desires and plans, rather than trusting in and receiving God's perfect plan for our lives. God puts desires on our hearts, and we are called to pursue them (I am not arguing here for a passive approach to life); however, frequently as we pursue our desires, and what appears to also be the "will of God" as we perceive it, something happens that seems to throw the whole plan off track.
Can you relate to this? You land the job you have been pursuing for years just to be laid off six months later... You get pregnant after months of trying and lose the baby in a miscarriage... You finally start dating the "perfect guy." You really think he's the "one," and he unexpectedly breaks up with you... Fill in the blank with your own story, and you can maybe see where I am going...
How do we respond in those difficult moments where our plans, our dreams are "rudely" interrupted? Do we learn from the example of Mary. "Be it done unto me according to your word..." She let go of her own plans and surrendered in faith to the plans of her Heavenly Father. She trusted in his love for her and submitted to his will.
May we learn from Mary's beautiful example as we reflect on the birth our Lord this Christmas and seek to more frequently submit to his perfect will in those difficult moments of life. I trust that through those moments of humble surrender we will witness The Lord working in marvelous ways to satisfy those desires of our hearts that can only be known and touched by our Heavenly Father, who loves us beyond our ability to understand...
So I was inspired to start this blog, as I reflected on today's gospel from Luke chapter 1. Here we see the power that total surrender and receptivity have to CHANGE THE WORLD. Yes YOU are called to be a world changer through your own journey of surrender and receptivity, and there is so much that we can learn from the example of our Blessed Mother. In the gospel today, the angel Gabriel visits sweet, young Mary, with the pronouncement that she is going to bear the Son of God. Imagine yourself in her shoes for a moment... living your life, and then - boom - a messenger of God comes to visit you and brings you the HUGE life-changing news about becoming mother to the Son of God.... How would you respond? What would go through your mind? Stop and consider it deeply for a moment... I think we often too quickly breeze over this powerful story because it's so familiar to us, but there is MUCH to learn from the example of Mary here. She, being fully human like us, must have had a million questions and uncertainties running through her mind... "Is this for real? What will people think? What will JOSEPH think? What about her reputation? What about HER PLANS?!"
I don't think we can ever fully wrap our mind around what it would be like to have an angel visit us with word that we are called to bear the Son of the Most High God, but I do think we can relate to this on a smaller scale and try to receive inspiration from the example of Mary.
How often have we been visited by God's "messenger" through an unexpected change in our plans? When was the last time you were going along in your life, feeling good, feeling confident, following "God's will" and then suddenly something comes along that TOTALLY throws you for a loop? Or maybe it's just the the day-to-day challenges we might face, where we have our day "all mapped out". We are going to be "so productive" today, and suddenly we hit some CRAZY traffic, or our child suddenly gets sick, or our car suddenly breaks down.... How do we react in these moments? Do we rebel or receive? Do we trust in God's plan our our plan? Do we rest in the TRUTH of God's love and care for us? Do we TRULY believe that "all things work for good" (Rm 8:28).
I submit that for women one of the BIGGEST challenges we face, and honestly the challenge that has been ours from "the beginning" with our mother Eve, has been the challenge of being receptive to God's will. Like Eve, we long to GRASP for the "beautiful apples" of our desires and plans, rather than trusting in and receiving God's perfect plan for our lives. God puts desires on our hearts, and we are called to pursue them (I am not arguing here for a passive approach to life); however, frequently as we pursue our desires, and what appears to also be the "will of God" as we perceive it, something happens that seems to throw the whole plan off track.
Can you relate to this? You land the job you have been pursuing for years just to be laid off six months later... You get pregnant after months of trying and lose the baby in a miscarriage... You finally start dating the "perfect guy." You really think he's the "one," and he unexpectedly breaks up with you... Fill in the blank with your own story, and you can maybe see where I am going...
How do we respond in those difficult moments where our plans, our dreams are "rudely" interrupted? Do we learn from the example of Mary. "Be it done unto me according to your word..." She let go of her own plans and surrendered in faith to the plans of her Heavenly Father. She trusted in his love for her and submitted to his will.
May we learn from Mary's beautiful example as we reflect on the birth our Lord this Christmas and seek to more frequently submit to his perfect will in those difficult moments of life. I trust that through those moments of humble surrender we will witness The Lord working in marvelous ways to satisfy those desires of our hearts that can only be known and touched by our Heavenly Father, who loves us beyond our ability to understand...
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